Fictionalized Interactions with the Son I’m Never Going to Have
“Dad, the kids in gym class keep making fun of me because I’m not good at sports.”
“You just have to find something you are good at, buddy. In 7th grade, I found I was pretty good at doing peoples’ hair. So every morning on the school bus, I’d bring the White Rain hairspray, some Rave mousse and a bunch of fresh ideas for my fellow riders hairstyles. I do believe Mike Weston got his first kiss because of me.”
“Was it from you?”
“Very funny, son. Very funny.”
“You do know that mom has night terrors about you being gay, right?”
“So our marriage therapist tells me.”
