A Gentlemen’s Agreement
It’s a simple resolution, really: don’t feed the beast of schadenfreude. I’ll not smile smugly when the gym crowds thin out on February 1st, or gloat quietly when friends stop investing in their careers and start reinvesting in their liquor consumption. Hey, sad-faced lady smoking in your Civic: ignore your shame. I’m not judging you. Everyone stay fat, drunk, lazy and nicotined. It’s fine by me. As long as when I return to being a bitter prick you don’t say, “Man, I thought you were going to be different this year.”
